My Harvey Girl!/Transcript 4
(Scene: Oona's bedroom at night) (Oona is laying on her bed thinking. She hears Harry's car pull up at the house. She goes over to the window and looks outside.) (Scene: Outside) (Harry and Miss. Jenny come out of the car.) Miss. Jenny: I had a good time tonight. Harry: I haven't had a bingo partner in ages. (Harry and Miss. Jenny walk up to Miss. Jenny's camper.) Miss. Jenny: Would you like to come in and see my house? Just for a minute. Harry: Okay, sure. (They walk inside the camper. Oona still watches.) (Scene: Inside Miss. Jenny's camper) (Harry and Miss. Jenny enter the camper.) Miss. Jenny: Home sweet home. Harry: It's nice. Miss. Jenny: I did it myself. I read a magazine article about how to maximize small spaces. Harry: Well it certainly looks bigger that it seems. Miss. Jenny: You can look in the bathroom if you want. People are always curious about that, like what happens when you flush. (Harry goes into the bathroom to check it out and then flushes the toilet.) Harry: Yeah. Miss. Jenny: Are you mad at me? Harry: No, why? Miss. Jenny: I don't know, tonight you just seemed a little cool, not opening car doors and... Harry: Oh, that was Phil, trying to give me advice on dating 70's women. Look I'm so out of touch, I haven't dated women in ages, not since my wife died. Miss. Jenny: What happened to her? Harry: Ahh, complications during child birth, she died two days after Oona was born. Miss. Jenny: Did she ever see Oona? Harry: I brought the baby into the room a couple of times, she opened her eyes, yeah, yeah I think she saw Oona. It was..... (Harry looks at the item he is holding and plays with it to calm himself down.) Harry: Did I ruin this? Miss. Jenny: Dance with me? Harry: Here? Miss. Jenny: This is where we are. Harry: Is there enough room? (Miss. Jenny moves something from the floor to make more room.) Harry: I haven't danced in..... Miss. Jenny: In ages, I know, me neither. (Harry and Miss. Jenny begin to slow dance.) Harry: Rock? Miss. Jenny: See you're that out of touch. (They keep on dancing.) Miss. Jenny: You're good. Harry: At Widdman High I was considered a pretty hot date, I did a killer frugue. (Miss. Jenny smells Harry's neck.) Miss. Jenny: What are you wearing? Harry: Old Spice, Phil says it's a timeless classic. (They dance som more.) Miss. Jenny: Do you want to? Harry: Want to what? Miss. Jenny: Kiss me. Harry: Yes. Miss. Jenny: Good. (They both have a long kiss.) Miss. Jenny: Good at kissing, and dancing, I'm very optimistic. (They both kiss again but this time the cuckoo clock interupts.) Harry: I ahh, better go. Miss. Jenny: It's only eight o'clock. Harry: Goodnight Miss. Jenny. Miss. Jenny: Goodnight. (Harry leaves the camper with Miss. Jenny stands at the door.) Miss. Jenny: Well, I guess it's official we had a date, maybe we can play bingo again sometime. Harry: I'm tired of bingo, maybe we should try that drive in of yours. Miss. Jenny: Goodnight. (Harry waves her goodbye.) (Scene: Oona's bedroom) (Oona goes to bed.) (Scene: Writing class in day) Mr. Grouper: Before the class started, Martin and Sandy wanted to lead the class in a group meditation. Crab: Ooooh that's really cool. Martin: Okay what we're gonna do is, send our vibes out into the group. (Martin turns on some weird music.) Sandy: Everybody hold hands, and close your eyes. Relax your muscles and take deep breaths. Martin: Now, try to feel what the other person is feeling, without speaking any words, send out your vibe, and receive the vibes around you at the same time. Can you feel it? Sandy: Okay, open your eyes. What did everybody feel? Lobster: I felt Mrs. Hunsaker's strength. Snail: I can feel that Sandy is one with the earth, she's so cosmically in tune. Sandy: So right on, that's exactly what I sent out, and I felt like, you were full of inner peace and harmony. Mr. Grouper: Oona, what did you feel? Oona: I felt Martin's hangnail. Martin: No Oona, that's not what we're looking for, a hangnail is insignificant. What's in my soul, feel my aura. Oona: I don't think I'm allowed to. Martin: I tell you what, let's try it again, hold hands. Oona (thoughts): My grandma once had a hangnail on her big toe. It got infected and traveled to her vocal chords, it ruined her singing voice, I don't think my grandma thought it was insignificant. (Scene: Oona's bedroom) (Oona is on her bed thinking. She stands up and goes to her grandma. She sits near to her and tries to do spiritual healing.) (Scene: Supermarket) (Oona and Harry are shopping.) Harry: Lettuce, watch out for the rust when you get lettuce. (Suddenly, Miss. Jenny appears behind them.) Miss. Jenny: Hey, I thought I recognized you two, hi Oona. Oona: Hi. Harry: I'm just picking some things up for the barbecue. Miss. Jenny: Yeah, me too, mind if I tag along? Harry: Not at all. Lot of potatoes! Miss. Jenny: It's for Miss. Jenny's famous potato salad. Harry: I'm looking forward to that. (Oona is pushing the cart and doesn't like Harry and Miss. Jenny together. She rams her cart into Harry.) Harry: HEY, OUCH, damn it! Oona, watch what you're doing. Oona: Sorry. Miss. Jenny: You know this is gonna be my first 4th of July picnic in a long time. Harry: Really? (Oona picks up a can of prunes.) Oona: Dad, didn't you say you needed prunes real bad? Harry: Ahh, Oona, just put anything you want in the cart, anything at all. Harry (to Miss. Jenny): I don't know what's gotten into her today. (Oona begins to roll to cart around and throw cans into the cart not caring about what they have in them.) Oona (thoughts): I used to like to play with my Ken and Barbie dolls, Ken was my favorite. Then one Christmas I got them a camper, and all they wanted to do was hang out in it by themselves. So I wasn't too upset when they took that wrong turn and went over a cliff. (Scene: Oona's backayrd) (Harry is playing the tuba. Miss. Jenny, Oona, and Phil are singing "Star Splanged Banner." Oona's grandma stands and watches them. A mustang pulls up next to the camper. A gray fish and a wolf get out.) (Harry is cooking patties on the barbecue and they are starting to get burnt. Phil is also there standing next to him.) Phil: Harry Harry Harry Harry Harry, I told you to use fewer briquettes and now look what you've done. You've cremated them. Harry: That's what I do. Do you wanna do it? Phil: No, no no.... (Phil walks away. Miss. Jenny comes up behind him.) Miss. Jenny: How's it going chef? Harry: Okay. (Oona looks at Harry and Miss. Jenny. She doesn't like them standing next to each other. She walks over and pushes between them.) Oona: Are they ready yet? Harry: No, sweetie, not yet. (Miss. Jenny uses her fingers to brush Oona's hair. Oona doesn't like it and shakes her head to get Miss. Jenny to stop.) Oona: When? Harry: Soon honey, soon. (Miss. Jenny tries to fix up Oona's hair despite there being nothing wrong with it. Oona shakes her head again to make her stop.) Oona: When? Harry: In a minute, look it's hot, sweetie you'll burn your nose, look out. (Oona and Miss. Jenny go back to the table.) (The fish and the wolf are going up the driveway.) (Oona, Harry, Miss. Jenny, Phil, and Oona's grandma are at the table.) Miss. Jenny: Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, yay God. Harry: I'll second that. Oona: Hey Miss. Jenny, like seafood? Miss. Jenny: Uh-huh, why? Oona: Sea food! (Oona opens her mouth and shows Miss. Jenny the half-chewed food in her mouth. Miss. Jenny laughs.) Miss. Jenny: That's attractive. (She turns and sees the fish and the wolf looking around.) Miss. Jenny (under her breath): Oh shit! Excuse me... (Miss. Jenny stands up and walks to the fish and wolf. Harry sees this. Oona and Phil turn to see what's going on. Oona's grandma stares into space.) Gray Fish: Hey Miss. Jenny, who lives here? (He points at the hearse.) Gray Fish: The Addams Family? Miss. Jenny: Mr. Grumpfish, what are you doing here? Mr. Grumpfish: What am I doing here? What a I doing here? Miss. Jenny (to wolf): Hi Big Bad Wolf. Oh Mr. Grumpfish, how'd you find me here? Mr. Grumpfish: You told everybody where you were going, I'm here for the motor home. Phil: These two people do not have a good relationship. Miss. Jenny: No! I bought it, I paid for it. I've been living in it for over a year, the camper is mine. Mr. Grumpfish: Excuse me, mutual asset, that's what the lawyer said, it's supposed to be "Our Mutual Asset", not "Miss. Jenny's recreational vehicle". Gimme the keys. Miss. Jenny: Keep your voice down! Mr. Grumpfish: What? Miss. Jenny: The boss is watching us... Danny (saracastic): I'm impressed. Miss. Jenny: God I guess i'll have to introduce you now. Mr. Grumpfish: Yeah, all right... (Miss. Jenny leads Mr. Grumpfish to the where everyone else is with Big Bad Wolf following behind.) Miss. Jenny: This is Harry, Phil, Grandma and Oona Shaskan... Mr. Grumpfish: Oona Shaskan? Tough break. Oona (matter-of-fact): I like my name. Miss. Jenny (to the Shaskan's): This is Mr. Grumpfish and Big Bad Wolf, they own the Dino Raphael salon in Detroit. Oona (hopeful, to Mr. Grumpfish): Are you here to take Miss. Jenny back? (Mr. Grumpfish shakes his head no. Harry gets up and go round the table.) Harry: Uhh, it's nice to meet ya. Uhh, we got burgers and hot dogs here if you'd care to join us? Mr. Grumpfish: Can't stay, I'm just here because my wife..... Miss. Jenny (interupting): Ex...ex, ex... Mr. Grumpfish: My "ex" wife seems to have ripped off my camper. Harry: Miss. Jenny? Miss Jenny: Honestly Harry, he got the mustang, I promise..... Mr. Grumpfish: I don't think so, I got a copy of the property settlement right here. (He pulls out a piece of paper.) Mr. Grumpfish: Ahh shit, this is my lease...... Damn it, I keep forgetting things, I'm getting senile. Harry: Mr. Grumpfish? Mr. Grumpfish: What? Harry: Okay, I know you've suffered a terrible loss, and there's really nothing anyone can do to comfort you, but I urge you to focus on the times you had with the camper, the trips you took, the sights you saw, those days are gone now, but they'll live on in your heart forever. Mr. Grumpfish (to Miss. Jenny): This guy bonking you? Miss. Jenny (disgusted): Mr. Grumpfish that's a real bonehead thing to say! Harry (to Mr. Grumpfish): Look, you're not gonna take Miss. Jenny's camper. Mr. Grumpfish: Oh.. Oh.. Oh no? Oh? Harry: It's her home! It's where she lives! Mr. Grumpfish: Oh really, okay fine look, go cook. (to Miss. Jenny) Gimme the goddam keys. (He tries to get the keys from her.) Miss. Jenny: Stop it! That hurts! (Harry is now very annoyed at Mr. Grumpfish.) Harry: Mr. Grumpfish, Mr. Grumpfish...... (Harry punches Mr. Grumpfish in the stomach. Oona and Phil watch startled. Miss. Jenny is surprised, and Oona's grandma stares into space.) Big Bad Wolf: What'd you do that for? Harry: Who are you? Big Bad Wolf: I'm his brother. Harry: Oh then you'll probably be visiting us here quite often. Big Bad Wolf: Why? Harry: Because if he ever tries to take Miss. Jenny's camper again, I'm gonna bury him in my front yard. (Big Bad Wolf is disturbed.) (Oona is still in shock of what happened.) Phil (whispering): Your father is a savage. (Oona looks at Phil and Phil nods.) (Scene: Front of house at night) (Miss. Jenny is leaning over the window with her head inside. Mr. Grumpfish and Big Bad Wolf are inside.) Miss. Jenny: Bye Big Bad Wolf. (The car pulls away and Miss. Jenny waves.) Miss. Jenny (to Harry): Well, you were pretty great! Harry: Is it really your camper? (Miss. Jenny makes a "sort of" gesture with her hand.) (Suddenly, fireworks begin. Harry and Miss. Jenny look up to watch.) Miss. Jenny: Can we see it from the backyard? Harry: You can get the general idea... (They walk to the backyard.) Harry: Yep, there they are... They always look the same every year... Miss. Jenny: Look... Harry: Did you ahh, love him? Miss. Jenny: I would never marry anybody I didn't love. (Oona and Phil are watching the fireworks from a seat-swing. Oona is holding an American flag.) Oona: He must like Miss. Jenny, I never saw him hit anyone in his life. Phil: He likes her. Oona: Does he love her? Phil: Probably. Oona: Do you like her? Phil: Yes I do, and I think she's very good for your father. Oona: Why? Phil: After your mother died, he was sad all the time, but before that, he was pretty funny. Oona: Really? Phil: Now when I see him with Miss. Jenny, sometimes he seems like the old Harry. Oona: My dad was funny? Phil: Well he wasn't one of the Marx brothers, but he made me laugh. Oona (thoughts): My uncle fought in the Korean War, he had a steel plate put in his head, Daddy said he didn't come back the same, one night, he picked up a radio station from Oklahoma in his teeth, it was really neat.